my laptop screen has broken off from the bottom part and i have been computer-less. i have also lost my cell phone and cannot text or call my friends. i have a shitty home phone line.

i need a job, very badly. i'm broke and running lots of debt. so is everyone else, though.

- i would allow prayers in schools for all religions, which must be respected equally (foot-washing basins for muslim students, a bowling alley or something badass for atheists like myself would make the situation tolerable :D)

- i would be inaugurated to nofx, swear in on the noble eightfold path (buddhism)

- i'd repeal the patriot act for sure, and return all records to those they belong to

- i'd shut down the cia, reform the fbi, and order international legislature to force the world bank and international monetary fund to give leading positions to members of all countries, not just the rich ones

- i'd reform the electoral system to rely on the popular vote, and tell electronic vote machine manufacturers to fuck the hell off

- i would pass legislation to tighten animal cruelty, torture, abuse, and abandonment

- tighten littering, just a little bit, with more incentives to report people (like money rewards, maybe even a boat with waffle irons!)

- reform the welfare system and make it easier for the poor to access food

- change nafta to stop ripping off our neighbors to the north and south

- force wall street to follow fair-trade and blood free regulations.

- establish a multi-party input legislature, open to the public input as well, while still following a voting system for passing laws

- increase the supreme court jury to 15 members

- ease up immigration laws to stop fucking over all the good people who want to live here, while still keeping the bad ones out (it's not that hard, you just have to take out all the stupid waiting)

- give all you crazy queers equal rights, and toughening hate crime laws

- toughen laws on other crimes like domestic abuse, child abuse, murder, financial crimes and lying in the government, rape, and relax laws on marijuana (legalize it!)

- health care!!! cuba's system is an excellent model.

- other cool shit

hey, you!
i've realized today, after witnessing two friends arguing over the matter, that blogs have the disastrous potential to alienate and hurt its readers, especially when people act immature and mean over them. if i've ever said anything that hurt anyone's feelings, i apologize. i'm truly blessed and grateful for all of the friends i've made, particularly in the past few years in Toronto and New Orleans.

School is fine. I miss my family, especially my kitties. My grandmother sent me a birthday card recently after her minor stroke, and it was beautiful to see the effort she put in trying to write legibly. The thought means a lot to me. I need to email her still and let her know.

Musicians are usually crazy people.

iran's presidential election is coming up in i think august? and this cool reformer dude is running and is like their obama over there, except not really young or sexy, but still badass.

"After 20 years of political silence, on March 9, 2009 Mousavi announced his bid to run in the 2009 Iranian Presidential Election, which has been since welcomed by many Iranians who still recall his time as Prime Minister. His intention to contest the upcoming Presidential election in June has been immensely welcomed by Trade Unions, Labour associations, grassroot activists on both sides of the political aisle and working class Iranians who feel being neglected for far too long by different administrations. Mousavi is well remembered by many Iranians for managing the country during the 1980-88 war with Iraq, and very effectively steering the country out of an economic meltdown."

Good! Maybe the gays will stop being lynched!

first, let me rant about this whole financial crisis shit. it's only becoming a crisis because you keep tagging it as a crisis. the market is built to fluctuate. it's done it before and it's doing it now. the more you scare the shit out of people and screaming through our tvs that the world is ending, the further the numbers dive. this is a self-construction. another key factor in my position on this is the internet and its recent development and integration into our lives. of course this technological development is going to affect our markets; it happened with tv and the computer. just because some credit has gone missing (probably due to the mismanagement of a *cough* previous administration down south) doesn't mean that our lives are ending. there are still jobs out there and new careers to pursue, and if one fails, and at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again.

now, on to more important matters. an outspoken iraq-invasion protester and British Member of Parliament George Halloway was recently barred entry to Canada for his speaking tour. A spokesperson for the Canadian Immigration Minister Jason Kenney (Conservative riding, calgary southeast, appointed by harper in 2006) said he was rejected on grounds of "National Security". Velshi says, "What we are not going to do is give special treatment to someone who has bragged about providing 'financial support' for Hamas ... and who sympathized with the Taliban terrorists who are killing Canadians overseas."

This man is not a supporter of Hamas or the Taliban. He has simply protested an illegal occupation of a country being shed of its resources - twice. The connection Kenney made with Hamas was mistaken; "I led a convoy of 110 British vehicles, more than 300 British citizens, to break the illegal siege of Gaza just a few days ago. Most people in the world think that feeding people under siege is something to be commended rather than something to get you banned," Halloway says.

What kind of a country do I live in when people are not allowed to enter (or entre) it to freely speak their minds? Is this what the post-9/11 "Terror" scare is doing to us? Taking away our rights? This is the communist manifesto all over again. It's a modern-day Salem witch trial. Halloway was accused by the Bush administration for having connections to Saddam Hussein. And you know what the worst part is? Everybody thinks there's nothing we can do about it. If some pussies just got off their asses and protested then maybe shit would change, but most probably don't see the situation extreme enough. My fear is that it will be, and by that time, it could be too late to make a difference.

Last night there was a minor altercation between some friends who live with each other. As challenging as living with others can be at times, I feel like resorting to violence is the absolute stupidest, most wrong, ignorant way to solve a problem. maybe that's just the canadian hippie in me. oh well.

my grandmother turned 84 today, i think. she also had a minor stroke and my grandpa is taking care of her in the hospital. i'm sure she'll be fine and i'm thinkin of her. she's really such an amazing person and grandmother. it's not her time yet. i love her.

i love my boy as well. he's pretty awesome. we're taking a trip today and it's lovely outside. nice warm march weather, the lamb kind. the kind of lamb that people don't eat, but pet. soft and poofy and cute.

that's all for now.

ps. i love my job. it's awesome.

or in french, mars

my sign, aries

i turn twenty-one this year. that number is significant, legally, in regards to the united states. pretty cool. going to vegas in april, can't wait.

hmm...two of my girl friends, i won't say who, have thought i was straight before they found out i was gay, and had crushes on me. when they told me this i was extremely flattered.

Dog comes howling up behind you, sinks his teeth in your leg
Tells you how now things are going to be a little different
And he takes you down a peg
You make him ashamed for you, he buys you a new dress
Because you make him ashamed for you, he'd like you to took your best
So you change, oh, oh,
And the dog bites down a little harder

Somewhere out in the wild wild west
That silly little thing that we tossed, tossed, tossed
Somehow we don't talk about nothing else but that
Silly little thing that we lost, that we lost, that we lost
And now there's no name for you
Come to find out none of that shit was even true
But now there's no name for you
I understand that we lost that too
When you change, oh, oh, oh
So you change, oh
And the dog bites down a little harder

Change ...........

Man says "Woman I'm a little tired of you"
And she says "Don't leave me baby I'll do anything you want me to"
He says "Can't you do something about the mess around this place"
And she says "Anything baby, anything, I'll cover my face"

You make him ashamed for you, he buys you a new dress
Cause you make him ashamed for you in your nakedness
So you change

i'll miss you and everything you taught me in broadcasting; the real deal stuff when you actually tried to teach and all of the other creative elements in our broadcasting class. you were such a creative and unique person with amazingly complicated hair, a lot like mine. i guess the two most extreme opposite professions, science and journalism, both require the craziest hair. your legacy will live in every sunflower i'll ever look at. i wish everything well for your children and family as they go through this tough time. i wish i could be at your funeral. i wish we could film one more episode of that stupid bulldog bulletin one time so we could laugh and cry and set more lamps on fire.

why is it so hard for so many people, self-included, to do things that they say they want to do?

where is my motivation? is this a generational problem? is my medication and state of mind making me docile? how will this affect my future?

am i a TIT

the california supreme court has set a date for the court to review the legality of the proposition 8 that banned homosexual marriages. the date is march 5th, 2009. we have to do everything we can to show the Court that the public supports our right to love one another as first-class citizens.

a town hall meeting in san francisco is set for feb 26; grand civic auditorium from 6 to 9- see the leaders of the anti prop-8 campaign and get some input. if you're in the area.

aren't we in troubled times.

i want you to know that i don't support the war in iraq and i don't support the actions of our troops. what is going on over there? why don't we hear anything about it? how are the soldiers doing?

why are we in this country?

i've been spending the weekend with my grandparents and they make me unbelievably excited to age. they have the most amazing stories to tell. we spend time reading together and we talk about lots of things. my grama always has a book to suggest.

this weekend i took to reading a national geographic atlas which outlined the continents and their movement over the past few hundred million years. in the next few hundred million, the continents will return to form the one giant land mass. i wonder if we'll still be around in another million years...or even a thousand. it seems so incomprehensible. i'm hoping before i get too old someone will discover a magical "live forever or until you decide to die" pill. i feel like the future will be fascinating.

after all of this thinking about time and the earth's history i realized how tiny our lifespan is. it'll take at least 9 more generations of my spawn to make it to the year 3000. they won't even remember me, which makes me sad. i certainly don't know who my ancestors of 9 generations are. but at the same time, it's pretty neat. i love thinking about space because it reminds me how small we all are in the universe. i wonder what else is out there.

side note, i've been reading naked lunch lately and it's amazing, incredible and mortifying.

whooseywhatsit!

two polar opposites can't be as far apart as we'd all expect...

it's often said that we laugh at what we fear the most. at first, the straightforward, common-sense part of me said "that's not entirely true, we laugh at jokes and meaninglessness and absurdity and many things." this is true.

unfortunately i'm starting to pick up on instances where i laugh or joke at things that i may not necessarily be afraid of, but i may find uncomfortable. little people, i find, are a common end of this; always being cast as elves or "midgets" in films for comic value, and we all laugh because they're tiny. have we ever stopped and thought about the "people" in these little people? imagine if you had to make a salary on everyone laughing at one of your uncontrollable physical features.

on the other hand, i shouldn't be a party pooper. most little people enjoy a good laugh too...but they don't laugh at tall people. i guess what i'm getting at is that sometimes i (and others) make fun of things or laugh at things that we may not be comfortable with. maybe we shouldn't. cats don't.

the only reason i loathe sundays is because i keep thinking that the weekend is over and that the next week is just around the corner.

i should be fucking excited for sundays. i should love them. another week around the corner, another one accomplished. that's a lot to ask for (dying people sometimes don't get them!). sundays should be a day of celebration, just like saturday, but deeper. sunday should be dedicated to the continuing journey of life and humanity. i mean, cows don't have sunday. neither do cats or dogs. but WE do!

let's make it awesome.

from this sunday on, i love sundays!

well, ok, i can't just jump into that kind of relationship. but i'll try to hate sundays less and less and i'm sure we'll build up some sort of connection. maybe later we'll fall in love and maybe not.

my dream last night consisted of a vast ocean which i flew across to help attack a giant robot monster with my friends, but unfortunately jess abe was sucked in by the robot monster. i wept my way back to my beach ocean home and woke up the next morning to see two suns in the sky, side by side.

part of flying across the beautiful ocean was jumping across the great atlantic dam, where i had to leap over a massive waterfall to the other part of the dam's structure. this part took place in the dark and jess abe warned me that i was going to fall, but that's when i began to fly.

the night was ridden with violence. i believe my family was staying in the cottage before gunmen opened fire on the upper floor. he was with me and i cleaned out the bong and smoked some for myself. i felt the relief in my dream. i think after this point was when we seeked our vengeance against the robot monster who was partially involved in the shooting. luckily, nobody died and we all got celebrity haircuts after, except for me. the lady didn't know what to do with my hair, and she said she liked the poofy thing i had going on.

i heard the song dig by incubus in my dream, and it was beautiful. i'm glad it was part of the dream.

so many days of the week!
monday funday
tuesday boozeday
wednesday friendsday
thursday purrsday
friday whyday
(caturday)

i stopped at sunday because i don't want to think of the weekend ending. it's only thursday, after all.

the new job is going well. it's smooth and very low key. i need to talk to my family more often. i miss being around so much of myself in such large doses. i feel like my apartment is slowly deteriorating in its umph factor. all of the energy i spent drinking has now been debunked by long days and empty pockets.

i want to write a book one day about every person i've ever met and every story that they've told me. unfortunately i've forgotten most of it...but if the publishers don't mind, throwing in a bunch of empty pages at the beginning would be pretty neat.

it's said that humans often curl up in the fetal position when resorting to true comfort, because it breeds familiarity. perfectly understandable, considering we spent the first nine months of existence doing it.

does doing it so often now mean that i'm such an uncomfortable person that i'm trying to revert back to this comfort? or is it meaningless? perhaps it's even deeper than comfort and emotion. instinct, possibly. there are plenty of physical things we can't control; maybe this is just another.

maybe i'm just fucking stupid.